Saturday, November 8, 2014

In case you hadn't noticed

In case you hadn't noticed it is now November. Yep, November. November 8th to be exact. You may remember back in May when we were told we should be getting our referral in 30 days and could go on our 2 week bonding trip. And then in September when I posted about our very difficult summer and how we still were waiting for our referral. Well, here we are in November and guess what; still no referral, still no bonding trip.

Here is the latest:
We found out last week that our file was now in a new part of the IBESR (Haitian Social Services) stage of the Haitian adoption process. This new part is called Children's Court. My understand of what happens here is that our dossier and Shaina's dossier go to the Children's Court. The Children's Judge reviews them and calls Shaina's bio mom in for an interview (her 3rd) to make sure she understands this process and what it means for Shaina to be adopted. Then he signs off on our dossiers and they go back to IBESR to await the signature of the Directress (the very signature we have been told was all we needed and have been waiting for since, yep, you guessed it, MAY). How long does this Children's Court phase take you ask?? Well, our agency tells us 30 days. Sound familiar? The other people in our very large Haitian Adoption FB group are averaging much longer than that. And then once this judge signs who knows how long it will take for the Directress to sign so we can get our official referral.
Here is what it all comes down to. I miss my daughter. 3 years is a very long time to go without holding her and hugging her and singing to her and playing with her. I MISS her. My heart hurts to see her. My arms ache to hold her. Why don't you just jump on a plane and go visit you ask? Unfortunately, once our file entered IBESR we were not allowed to see Shaina until our official 2 week bonding trip. After that trip we can go back as often as we want until we can bring her home. But until then we can't go. I have been very tempted to hop on a plane to Haiti and just "show up" at the creche. But the fear of it disrailing our adoption has stopped me.

I just have to say this though. As hard as this has been, I have been praying constantly for the ability to utterly trust in God's perfect timing. At times it is easy and at other times it is very hard. I get angry. I get frustrated. I get jealous of those whose adoptions are moving quickly and without any hiccups. I doubt. I question. I fear. And I know that is not what God wants. So I am focusing on this saying that I heard a few weeks ago, "Until God opens a door I will praise Him in the hallway." I LOVE that saying. Whenever I feel tempted to get upset or angry about all of our delays I say to myself, "Praising Him in the hallway.". It is helping me to be more thankful for the here and now and be grateful for the entirety of this journey, not just the good parts. Because I know that the end of this journey will be worth the hard. And I know that the hard is actually bringing me closer to God, deepening my faith and showing me how strong I really am. And luckily God has blessed me with an immense peace this last week. That, and a very busy schedule which helps to keep my mind on other things!

Please continue to pray for us. Please pray for Shaina, that God will be working in her heart to prepare her for when she comes home. That He will show His amazing love and grace to her and that she will know that she is wanted and loved! Please pray for Ryan, Riley, Bella and myself that God will be preparing our hearts too for when Shaina comes home. We know this will be life-changing but until we actually are experiencing it we don't know really what it will be like. Pray for no more hiccups. Pray for speed and accuracy. Pray for all of the children who wait and the families who wait for them. It is agonizing my friends.

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