I will put it bluntly. I am stressed out. I am so stressed out that I cannot see straight. I cannot focus. I cannot think straight. I am just one big ball of stress right now. I cannot remember the last time I felt this much stress and this much of a weight on my shoulders.
What is stressing me out you ask? A lot is on my plate right now. One of my family members is having some very serious health issues. I am very worried and stressed about her health. I will be having to take time off of work to attend to this family member. When I do that, there is much less time for me to take off for when we bring Shaina home.There is also the never ending cycle in adoption when of all the things that can go wrong, some how do go wrong, at all the wrong moments. Does that even make sense? Am I rambling yet? Because that is what I feel like right now. A big mess.
I have been praying for guidance, strength, patience, wisdom, and help with giving it all to Him. I need to not worry about everything I am worrying about because the only good it will do me is give me an ulcer, and I really don't need that right now. I know that everthing will work out, and in His timing, not mine. But man, I tell ya, I am really struggling right now with trusting in that.
So, I sit here a big messy ball of stress. Heart racing, head pounding, eyes filling with tears.
What I really need is to jump on a plane and head to Haiti to see my lovey. But, that is not possible at the moment. I really don't know when I will see her again. I hope and pray it will be soon, so soon!
Thanks for listening and thank you for your prayers, as always :-)