For those of you who might not know, I am a photographer at heart, and do it as a side job. This past weekend I took my children out to do their photos for our Christmas cards. I was getting my gear together, some props, trying to wrangle the kids and I just kept having this nagging feeling in the back of my mind. I looked at Ryan and he put words to my feelings, "This just doesn't feel right," he said. I couldn't agree more. Something was missing. Someone was missing. Our sweet Shaina should have been there to be in the photos with Riley and Bella.
As I am busy with prepping for the holidays and doing our holiday shopping, I am having fun buying Shaina her Christmas gifts. But I am so sad to know I won't get to see her face when she opens them. She won't be with us to help us decorate the tree or sing Christmas carols or eat cookies. She won't get to fall asleep with Bella on the couch in hopes of catching a glimpse of Santa as he comes down the chimney.
Next year, I keep telling myself. Next year she will be with us for the holidays, and more importantly, for every day!