This past weekend Ryan and I went to an all day workshop put on by our homestudy agency on attachment.
Attachment is a huge issue in adoption. I have read two books about it already, to try to prepare myself for when Shaina comes home.
This workshop really got me thinking. What if Shaina doesn't attach to us, specifically, to me? What if she completely rejects me and wants nothing to do with me? I know this will be a normal and expected, and even healthy, reaction at first, while she grieves her mother. But what if it stays that way? When I went to Haiti in May and spent time with Shaina, it was great! She was very loving and open with me. But that was only for 3 days and we were still in her home country with familiar people. It will be a different story when she comes to a new country, new house, with new people all speaking a different language.
While I sit and wait for things to progress with our adoption, these are the types of things I am thinking about. I know I shouldn't. I know I should think positively and that we will end up having a wonderful family and a wonderfully loving relationship. But sometimes the negative thoughts are hard to push away!