Monday, September 26, 2011

My Adoption Anthem

The song you are hearing playing on my blog right now is my adoption "anthem". It is called All In by Lifehouse. It has very special meaning to me and our adoption of Shaiena.

When my husband and I first decided we were going to pursue adopting from Haiti, I began noticing this song playing on the radio, in stores, in my car, at work, etc. And I noticed that when it would come on, I would be thinking about the adoption, researching the adoption or doing something relating to the adoption. At first it seemed like an odd coincidence.

We first found out about Shaiena and were introduced to her via her photo. My song, as I came to call it,seemed to come on the radio when I was staring at her photo or emailing trying to find our more about her, or reading an email that told us more about her. I know it sounds silly, but I kind of took it as one in a series of signs that she was meant to be a part of our lives, she was meant to be our daughter.

Keep in mind this song is not a new release and not by a hugely popular band. So there is really no reason why a radio station would be playing it all the time.

After I went to Haiti, met and fell in love with Shaiena, I finally looked up the lyrics to this song. I couldn't believe how appropriate they were and how much they mirrored what I was thinking and feeling regarding our adoption and how much I missed her.

Since then, I still hear my adoption anthem and it is only when I am doing something relating to the adoption or to Shaiena. I love this song now. I love the meaning it has for our adoption and for Shaiena. It still gives me chills when I hear it.

Here are the lyrics: (the one part of the song that doesn't pertain is in parenthesis)

All night staring at the ceiling
Counting for minutes I'm feeling this way
So far away and so alone
But you know it's alright, I came to my senses
Let go of my defenses
There's no way I'm giving up this time
Yeah, you know I'm right here
I'm not losing you this time

And I'm all in, nothing left to hide
I'm falling harder than a landslide
I spent a week away from you last night
And now I'm calling, calling out your name
Even if I lose the game, I'm all in, I'm all in tonight
Yeah I'm all in, I'm all in for life

There's no taking back what we've got's
Too strong, (we've had each other's back for too long
There's no breaking up this time)
And you know it's okay, I came to my senses
Let go of my defenses
There's no way I'm giving up this time

And I'm all in, nothing left to hide
I'm falling harder than a landslide
I spent a week away from you last night
And now I'm calling, calling out your name
Even if I lose the game, I'm all in, I'm all in tonight
Yeah I'm all in, I'm all in for life

I want it, I want it, yeah I want it
I want it, I want it, I want it, yeah
I want it, I want it, yeah I want it

And I'm all in, calling out your name
Even if I lose the game
I'm all in, I'm all in for life

And I'm all in, nothing left to hide
I'm falling harder than a landslide
I spent a week away from you last night
And now I'm calling, calling out your name
Even if I lose the game, I'm all in
I'm all in tonight, yeah I'm all in, I'm all in for life
Yeah I'm all in, I'm all in for life

So, that is my story of my adoption anthem and why it is so meaningful to me. Do you have a song, a poem or a story that holds special meaning for you and your adoption?

3 comments:

  1. I think you explained it beautifully!! xo

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  2. Love this! I've never listened to the words before. Powerful stuff!

    My song changes constantly - it seems to depend where we are in the process. Sometimes they are joyful, many times they are somber. There is one that seems like our meeting her and bringing her home sone. "It is well" by Josh Wilson. I can picture our flight, picture walking through the gates, picture HER, picture our first embrace. Beautiful.

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